DoEs LoVe ReaLLy ExiSt???

yoz... long time never write lerhx... humans' thinkings are really strange aren't they? in a few seconds time, millions of thing can come into your mind, either good or bad. happy or unhappy, your mood might change in a second. so no one's able to predict anything. so whats the use for a fortune teller already? haizz... love comes fast too. hui khin, maybe you shouldnt have invited me to your chalet BBQ. if you didnt, i wouldnt have met him either... but i din regret though. in hui khin's BBQ, i met a guy. we bickered alot. from when we walked out of the chalet to go out walk walk. until we went home, gone separate ways... even in the bus bickered so loudly... mabel cant stand it keep shouting fer us to shut up and keep quiet. muahaha.. i hit him even... didnt expect that i will like him after that... took his number from hui khin... and smsed him. yesterday i went to help mabel in her shop. she say she alone scared cannot handle... so i had to wake up early to help her... slept the night before at 2... and woke up at 5 to help her out... zZzzz. i gave him mabel's number... cause i feel that he likes her... i told him not to tell mabel that i knew his number, not to tell her i smsed him. and not to tell her that i gave him mabel's number... in the end? he told her everything. told her i tell him to woo her. why? why does everyone want to do that to me? why does everyone want to deceive me? why muz they break all my trust in them? why muz they bluff me? why muz they do this? its really painful... all the things that i have to face. why cant they at least do a simple thing such as keeping their promises? why cant they even try not to lie? the people i trusted most, those whom are important to me. yet they deceives me. tell me how to trust them... tell me how to trust anythign everything? mabel, freeze, him... maybe there're still many... but i din know? its not the first time i was deceived. yet i had to control. i had to fake. i had to try my best not to seem hurt. but i cant. i was too hurt. i cried in front of mabel, in her shop(dun worry that time no customer). she din understand what happened and asked him. questioned him. and told him i cried.(nice isnt it? another one. another time) i told mabel maybe i liked him(thats before everything happened). then we worked cause got customers. suddenly came in alot. hell. wasnt myself. keep doing wrong things. hahaz. in the midst of being busy, mabel still got time keep asking me whether i like him not. as i dunno myself, i said dunno. then she told me what i guessed correctly(as stated above) that he is wooing her... well, i'm used to it. its not the first time anywayz. i wanna thank them. and him. for preventing me from forgetting all my hatred. for making me give up entirely in love. i wont ever fall in love with anyone again. love doesnt exist. it doesnt. so why bother caring bout it. i give up. its really tiring. no one will understand anywayz. when i told mabel i wont ever fall in love again, and that i like him more than shaun, her reply was: anything la. i hate to be entangled in these things... did she ever think about me? think fer me? she hates being entangled in these. what about me? how hurt was i feeling at that time and not a consoling word came out from her. i was depressed. hell. now i know... i really know. and i wont ever believe again. no one knows....how tired i am. how much i really wished, that when i close my eyes, i will sleep forever. and never wake up. so i wouldnt have to face any more things... this world. is hell. worse. now, in my heart, besides hatred, i cant feel anything. there's no love. muahahaha. its nice. anywayz i'm one who cant feel anything. so why bother? in everyone's life, i'm only a passerby. someone who only appears to say hi. someone who leaves and no one will remember... dun bother bout me. i'm really very tired. my pain and hurt. its wonderful. i only have myself. no one else. my life, is meaningless. i live, to work hard to earn money for my mother to lead a better life. i really juz hope she can cope until that day, when i succeeded. thats the only thing i'm living for. muahahaha. you wait, one day i'll let those who despised us, those who made my mother's life miserable to know....that we're better than them. rich so what? hell them. i will make them know...see how's their reaction. muahahaha!!! anywayz my life's nothing except this. heck