WhY Do I ALwaYS HaVe To FaCe EvErYThInG MySeLf???

Why do i always have to face everything myself? I am always alone... Today i juz knew something. Something which made me cry real hard. Mabel, the friend i trusted most, have been deceiving me all the time. I mean, she didnt tell me many things... She never told me her real character. She had been acting this one year? She have successfully deceived me one year. How stupid i am to think that she is that simple? I have only wanted the purest and simplest happiness. I dislike competitions. I only want peace. Why? Why do all my friends like to compete? Why do they care so much bout these? Why cant the society be in peace? I believed, and want to believe, that there is no need to compete and we can get what we want. We can juz try our best. Is there really a need to compete? I admit that i did bluff her and didnt tell her many things. But those are only small matters. What she have kept me in the dark is something i cant take it. She is really very impressive... I'm very impressed. I am so simple minded. When i was crying real hard juz now, there was no one for me to lean on, no one there for me. I am always facing all these myself. After the heart breaking cry, i, once again, locked myself up. It will not be so easy to be opened again since its locked twice... love derrick and 5566 forever.