I don't know why but I just can't do this. I am avoiding. I am avoiding any contact with him. Is it because of him? I kept thinking and wondering... But i really don't think so. Even if he never appeared, things would have become like this as well... I am starting to question if I can even go on like this. I start to wonder... Do I love him? Do I love the other him? And I realised...the answer is no. I don't,  for both of them. So what am i doing now? What should i do now?