I realised i havent been adding titles in my post. Because i don't exactly know what to put. I guess my thoughts are so messy. I have many thoughts. But when its time to express them to someone (psychologist), I don't seem to remember and unable to explain. But when im alone or things happen, the thoughts comes up. So I shall blog in case i forget again. One other issue i have is the emptiness i feel inside me. And the need to spend money even though i know i shouldnt. I cant help it I dont know why. Then the thought of having all the credit loans and bills to pay makes me feel worse. I wish i remember my early experiences too. But i just cant seem to remember much. And it sucks... I wish there is some method to recover these memories. Why do my memories fade? Is it because i feel unreal?