i need an answer

i really dont know how to be happy
who doesnt want to be happy?
who doesnt want to be healthy and cheerful?
i was once such a healthy and cheerful person
what am i now?
who am i?
i really need an answer...
because i seriously dont know how to continue on
how to walk on
crying has become a large part of my life
crying everyday...
i'm tired...
i juz want to leave..
i dun even want to walk finish this part
i have only myself, till now..
only myself to tell me to jia you
only myself to tell myself that everything will be alright
telling myself i will understand one day
telling myself everything will be over
telling myself i will get better one day
how many years have passed,
doing all these?
tears made my eyes weary
i smile while i sob inside
i laugh while cry inside
i go crazy when i'm actually super tired.
nobody knows, i've never felt happy before
not even a single moment
and maybe, i will never feel happy
it is a world no one can see
a place no one can get into
a feeling no one can understand
and juz blame it on me
but let me leave....