I Beg For Heaven To Stop It....

please stop it......i really have no more strength to continue anymore..... I give up.... i cant remember the past and memories, i cant feel the present, i cant see the future..... why? why everytime i lie on my bed, before i sleep, i always hope that the nest morning when i wake up, when i open my eyes, i will at least feel abit better.... at least see some hope.... but why? why am i feeling worse as days and nights go by??? i really dunno when i will collapse...when i have no more strength to continue.....im really vert tired..... i dun want to face anything now...... no hope..... no future....how meaningful life is like that..... i always wanted to walk forward, to walk by the path, but i have no strength to continue anymore.... hurt, scars, whatever..... doesnt matter to me anymore.....

I ReaLLy DuNNo MySeLf AnyMoRe~

haizz dunno lerhx....i dunno who am i lerhx lahx....frustrate but cant show...sad but got to hide... have to fake a smile everyday... no one knows and no one will understand so why bother telling or explaining to them? sian diao... Everyone thinks mabel is holy good... a very gentle, cute, loveable girl.... I PUKE! juz the sight of her makes my want to puke more ever her act cute voice.... really acbc... I hate her and that will be a fact forver! Once i thought she is weak and she is the fren i want to protect but now.....she is a bitch who acts in front of everybody and uses her acting to let everyone like her.... i realised and i regretted giving her so much attention.... I hate her to the core and this will never change! she will lose everything and im waiting to see her fall! She will have her retribution! She made me lose everything, made me so miserable and pathetic..... she will get it one day... I hate this world! The most i hate is myself!! Gor, you wll never know..... You will be pleased to know that i now have my own thinkings, but you will also be worried cause you wouldnt know me.... sorry... i cant go by my promise to you... I have to break it regardless i promised you 2 times... I havent have any contact with you or a long time and i might only want to speak to you at the end of the year of maybe a few more months later... sorry... maybe by that time, you have long forgotten me... But i believe you wouldnt since i can feel that you really care for me.... Maybe you are the only one who really cared for me, who really loved me... I thank you.... Thanks and sorry... Gor i love you too!