tired....
why do i feel so tired suddenly.
why do i feel so emo suddenly.
why do my tears fall so quickly.
all i hope for is ppl to support me.
because this is my only hope
is it too difficult?
why do i feel as if i am begging everyone to support me?
i know i cannot give up.
giving up means to die in a saddest way.
but i realised,
i am still alone
alone to cry
alone to face everything.
i am still so weak.
i still need alot of strength.
how can i move on like that.
the urge to escape is so strong.
WHY !!!!!

really no one can understand how i feel?
no one can save me from this agony?
no one can take away my pain?
it hurts so much...
to think of you,
to miss you so much.
its stupid, its silly.
i dont want to be like this actually.
i need to make this decision.
the decision whether to continue
or to stop loving you.

have been really stressed recently
due to the amount of work to do.
studies, HSSSC, soka...
if it wasnt for soka, i would have given up,
really...
now learning to relax and reduce stress
but i am getting slack =X

i still feel alone at times
but its better
really fortunate to have si yi
its such a wonderful destiny to have her
i must have really good fortune to met someone like her.
and also my other TPSD-ians who cared for me,
gave my encouragements.
well well, here i go again.
hahaha

gave up trying to tell ppl abt how i feel.
gave up hoping anyone will know how i feel.
but, i can overcome all these.
just, i really miss you.
no idea how to let go...
cant bear to let go either..
where are you?
what are you doing now?
are you doing fine?
really hope that you are doing well.
maybe you can move on better without me...
do you still think of me?
still miss me?
sigh...

huh. dunno whats wrong with me again
so super emo-ish and frustrated.
screwed my first psych test after being stressed so much
ah well, its over.
gosh
have you ever thought of it
why is it that you are always right
and others are always wrong
what right do you have to blame me that i'm drifting away.
maybe i am
but as a fren,
cant you just understand what i am going through?
everything that i am going through is so unimportant to you.
you just care about yourself isnt it?
i have been under alot of stress
almost going to fall and cannot take it le
and there you are,
making me feel worse
cant you just say some encouraging words?
does that KILL you?
instead, you saying i drift away
i put more effort and attention on soka and HSS.
ITS MY PASSION
CANT YOU SUPPORT ME JUST ONCE?
why?
can you really consider yourself as a good fren?
you dont deserve this title at all actually.
i'm seriously tired
and disappointed
no one understands.
i'm sick of it
hurts...
as usual.
i dont want to be back like before
the past haunts me.
go away.
please...
let me live my life happily...
can i?

TiReD...

i have no idea why..
i suddenly feel so tired
tired of everything..
why is my life so tiring?
am i moving in the right direction?
day after day,
i moved on...
not giving myself excuses to stop.
whats the reason?
i dont allow myself to look back,
didnt want myself to be like before.
but can i rest?
i dunno...
about you,
i feel really confused.
what am i supposed to think?
what am i supposed to do?
maybe i really shouldnt have started it.
shouldnt have accepted..
why is the fear suddenly creeping into me again?
please, i really need the energy and strength to continue.
i am tired...
i really am.

GiVinG uP

i really give up in you ppl
maybe its the problem with me
but i feel seriously tired
why are you ppl asking me,
wanting me to tell you guys my stuffs and problems
yet no one seem to bother after that?
i'm not hoping that you ppl can solve the problem for me
or do anything big
i juz hoped for some words of encouragement.
when i'm so tired,
you ppl are talking to me and telling me
your own stuffs and everything.
how am i supposed to react?
what the hell is wrong with everything?
since you all dont want to care,
then why bother keep asking me for it?
why make a fuss over me not saying anything?
seriously, i really dont understand
then whats the point of i saying it?
juz so you all know for no reason?
it really feels that no one understands me
even till now
though i have changed alot,
some things juz still remain
stuffs like me feeling i am alone to face everything...
thanks angie, koonhiang and karkoon
for the encouragements you gave me.
juz that, and i feel really touched.
i am still human afterall...
i will still feel tired,
lost,
upset,
weak...
dont want to return to what i am in the past.
yet the present happenings seem to be pulling me down.
they are really huge challenges and obstacles..
will i succeed in the end?