asking questions and trying to find out again
what is life about and what is love?
its easy to say,
put everything down and let go
but how many really can do it?
i actually did it.
yes, i did it
but the hurt remains
full of pain and troubles
ppl ask me,
what am i fretting over?
what am i feeling sad for?
my answer: dun ask me, cause i really dunno myself
i didnt lie, i really dunno
funny right?
is it supposed to be like that?
after so many things, troubles, everything
hurt and pain remains
sorrow remains
loneliness remains
but what exactly happened?
i cant remember a thing
seriously...i cant remember
not even who i am
what is the purpose of me being here
heaven made me come into this world for a reason
i always believed that everyone come into this world
for a reason
different reasons for different people
whats mine?
saded
screwed life is mine?
yes, i'm fated to become like that
and thats it
i've no idea
living for nothing
meaningless
i worked so hard
in everything
ccls, choir etc etc
for what reason?
yes, maybe cause i liked it
but the main reason
is juz to show myself i can make a difference somewhere
but you know?
the results dun show so
i'm of no difference
i know, being needed is a form of happiness also
yes, thats what i'm trying to gain
when ppl need me, i will at least feel a bit of staying
in this world
though in my heart, i'm still lonely
i seem to gain a bit of energy to move on
when i'm needed
but no more....i'm not
maybe all these while,
i was juz deceiving myself
i'm unreasonable and a strange peep
i dun hope that ppl will understand me
yet i blame them for not understanding me
i didnt let them know any of my things
how i feel and etc
yet i expect them to understand
what the hell am i thinking?
no idea
funny
laugh~laugh~laugh~
love being engrossed in stories
and drama series
i mean ou xiang ju...
i do not believe in love
love only exists in drama series and novels
feel like staying forever in my world
block everything else out
leave this world
the world that i dun belong to
i'm tired
i know that,
happiness are always around us
maybe a twist of thinking and everything changes greatly
ppl are blinded by what they are affected that they forgot
forgot what is happening
they start to neglect the beautiful things around them
but if they were to let themselves out,
and see how beautiful things are,
they will achieve great happiness
simple happiness
it wont be called happiness if it isnt simple anywayz
interesting isnt it?
life?
yes, its interesting
yet so complicated
i hope all my close ppl will find their life interesting
but not complicated
dun end up like me
dying off yet no one knows
rather pathetic
who to trust?
who can be trusted?
teachers?
nah
humans cant be trusted
none of them
thats why
i'm left alone
pretty right?
yeah
love....it seem to be not something we can control
HAHA
i really dun want to continue anywayz
dunno what i am doing
who i am
what i am supposed to do
haha
nice life~
with only myself left,
i live the "BEST LIFE"
who envies me?
haha
dun...cause you can see the inverted commas
choir...dun feel like working hard anymore
no point
worked so hard for 2 and a half years
yet as lousy as ever
give up
once my effort was left with pathetic 5%
haha
really no point
everything is so far away from me
really far...
