HaIzz PeoPLe CoMe AnD Go....

haizz people come and go in our lives...sometime they go so quickly that it seems like they have never entered our lives before. but life still continues... wont that be too tiring? or should i say it IS very tiring. facing all these crap and having still to continue. hell. i know myself that i have changed. from an innocent little girl who doesnt say any bad words to one who has a great bad temper who feels irritated by the slightest thing. because i hate? because there is hatred in me? my heart? because i was influenced by that mabel? or what? i have completely no idea. i am selfish. i am a darn idiot who doesnt spare a thought for anyone. i hate life. mr glenn left school. no fun anymore. i dun hate studying but i hate that school. no idea why. there seems to have no place for me. everywhere is the same... everything is the same. who will pity me? who will see me? im juz a transparent person. ppl forgets me. and i dun give a damn anymore. whats the point? they still leave anyway. im juz like a stone. sitting there all day pass time there. cars pass by me. no one will notice. hell. i hate everything. but the thing i hate most is myself! how to torture myself? get sick. man i love it. being sick~~ it feels juz so great. i am not like gor. i dun hurt myself by cutting myself or biting the tongue? i juz get sick. try the best i can to get sick. its nice~ whatever. really tired le. by all the things. who would like to be like me? facing all these? everyone, all of them, to me are a burden. no idea why. but thinking of anyone juz makes me sian. life is like that. sian. boring. hell. a transparent person will forever be a transparent person. so why bother trying hard to add in colours to make be opaque so that ppl can see me? i give up le. really. really very tired. i have no strength to continue. gor became weak. all my frens dun seem to be my frens. all the same. i always have myself only. i dun reply on anyone. i hate. whats the point??? no one will understand. no one will care. no one will even know me. so lets juz continue this kind of stupid life. tears... haha. when i feel like crying, i have to force my tears back in cause i dun even have to chance, the right to drop a tear. but when i have the chance to cry at home, no tear can be forced out. have always been like that so no use saying le. haizz. no chance to stop to rest. so juz continue. faking a smile everyday. haha. fun~ mabel says these days she facing depression.haha. i didnt know someone facing depression can say that she herself is facing depression.haha.whatever~ doesnt concern me. i am really trying hard. to control my temper against everyone. but there is too much hatred. too much for me to control. i treid hard really. its real tiring to hate. haizz. i wanna let go. i really want to rest. can i? no i cant. it continues... its unfair. but... what can i do lehx? juz continue being like that. facing all these crap. torturing myself by being sick. geez now i am sick already anywayz. nice~ haizz try bahx. try to let me carry all other ppl de burden... take away all their miseries. help them. my only dream. doesnt matter whether they see me or not le. doesnt matter. haizz. no idea le. i dun even know who i am now. my name sounds like a stranger to me. like i have never heard before. haizz. whatever~~