LoVe Is BlinD...

People say that love is blind... But does anyone really know what is love? When they think that it is love, it might only be an admiration for a short period... Maybe there are no real love in this world... I am starting to more and more not believe in love... I dun trust anyone now... And there is really something wrong with me... my attitute is starting to be bad... I dun want it but cant control it... Is it selfish? Yes i am selfish... But not only they feel terrible... I feel worse than them... The kind of feeling... Its so hard to describe... I want to be like before... At least having a life... Now i feel so dead that nothing seems to be of any concern to me.... I dun seem to be awake nor do i have any feelings now... I dunno what happened and what to do... haizz... There is no one to help me anymore... I cant love others like that... I cant care for others like that... Cause i cant save myself, how am i going to save others? Hoping others understand when i dun say it out.. How smart of me... I need to say myself but how? I really feel very bad now... Feel like crying but cant cry out... haizz... I really hope i cant escape and hide... But there is no way to do so... I have to face it, solve it... When i dun even have the strength to think bout it anymore... what can i do? i really dunno myself now... i wanna go read the horoscope book but i dun want to live my life by the book... And i'm afraid that Mabel will start believing and living by the book again... haizz....why is life so complicated and difficult? Mabel says my attitute is really very bad and i know that... Before she told me i already knew that earlier on... But i dunno what happened... Haizz... I believe the reason is not because i broke up with rudolf... Cause right after that i am still fine... WHAT HAPPENED TO ME??!!?!? Fed up... I know that love is unable to cure me so what can cure me? Mabel doesnt understand so she think that love can cure me... She dunno how i feel... She dunno much of my changes and things... She is not sure of my things... haizz... I'm so confused and tired...