ScaRed...

I dunno why but i feel scared... I know that deep inside my heart i longed and wanted someone there for me to rely on. But now that even Fever has slowly left me, and doesnt understand, there isnt anyone for me to rely on... I need help and i admit it... But what can i do? Life still continues...I thought it wont be difficult to stand back up but only now that i realised it wasnt easy... Its tiring... I have been selfish these few days... And this led to many quarrels between i and mabel... The problem lies with me... Im too useless to cope... I feel like crying but whenever i feel like it, i dun have the chance to cry... Whenever i can cry, i dun feel like crying... I have to carry on... Hide all my fears and unhappiness everything in my heart... My heart is closed again... This time even a formidable person wont be able to open it easily... I really hoped someone will be able to understand... Rudolf... I cant forget you... But what can i do? What will happen if i leave one day? No one will save me... Save me from all these things... Haizz